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too attached to the book

August 18, 2014

I think I’m too attached to the Bruce Trail hiking guide.  I confession, that I think my attachment boarders on problematic.

For the past 24 hours, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I thought I lost a page of the Bruce Trail guide during our hiking trip yesterday.  I had taken several pages out of the book, rather than take the entire guide.  But last night when I returned home and I went to replace the pages, I thought I was missing one.  You see the Bruce Trail guide is divided into several individual, detailed maps; which are often accompanied by an extra page of information about side trails and parking.  I thought I had lost one of those in between pages.  Last night I almost cried.  And today I just couldn’t quite get over the fact that I had lost a page and it was a page related to a section we had not yet hiked.  The only comfort I found was that Linda, my fellow hiker, fully understood the scope of my sadness.  The good new is that upon closer review and a detailed consult with Linda (who was comparing to her guide), I confirmed that there is no extra page between map 16 and map 17.  I’m not sure you can say “the lost has been found” when something was never lost.  But at this moment I feel like singing “Let’s have a party, let’s make a racket for the lost has returned to me.” (song from the musical the Story Telling Man).

I know it’s just a piece of paper.  And rationally I know it makes no sense to be this attached to a page in a book.  And I could pretend that this experience is going to help me re-consider my attachment to the book, and perhaps see it with better perspective for what it really is – just a thing.  Unfortunately, I think this will just increase my vigilance when it comes to paying attention to how many pages I take and making sure they all come home safely.

They say, admitting you have a problem is an important first step to change/recovery.  But unless someone knows about a 12 step program to reduce ones attachment to the Bruce Trail hiking guide, I think I’m going to stay too attached.  Referrals are accepted.



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