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a pause button

Wouldn’t it be great if we came with a pause button?

You know something that would cause I stop and pause for a 30 seconds or a minute before we said the thing that wasn’t going to be helpful to ourselves or others, before we did that action that in retrospect didn’t end up being our best choice, before our automatic response to something or someone kicked in.

I do not have any insights or ideas on how to avoid these situations.  Because we don’t come with a pause button.  But sometimes I really wish we did.  And perhaps more importantly someone wise who knew when we needed it to be activated.



we learn when we fail

Several times this week, in several different ways, in several different settings, I heard the message to be okay with failing.  The messages were in form of things like:

– it is through failing or falling short that we grow

– to strive for progress not perfection

– to celebrate when something is tried, even if it doesn’t turn out to be successful

– that it’s only really failure if don’t learn from the experience


These are all ideas and messages that I can support on a cognitive level.  Being okay with failure or not living up to the expectations I have for myself, is something that is much harder for me to be okay with emotionally.

As I thought more about my emotional response vs. my cognitive response and how to address the gap between the two, I wondered if perhaps I need to re-frame or change my definition of failure.  Personally, I find altering my emotional response to be quite difficult, I find it easier to change the way I think about something.

How do you define “failure” and how might changing your definition (particularly the definition you have for yourself) alter things?

March 8

Today is International Women’s Day.  I hope you find a way to acknowledge this day.  To honour and respect the women in your life.  To celebrate with others who honour and respect women.

Happy International Women’s day to all!

One Day at a Time

It’s easy to worry about tomorrow or next week or next month or next year.  And we should plan for the future and consider the long term impact of our choices.

And at the same time, we can only live ‘one day at a time’.  We can only do today what we can do today.  We can’t change yesterday.  We can’t control what will happen tomorrow.

This is not always an easy philosophy/life truth for me to embrace and adopt.  But it can be a reminder to give ourselves permission to cut ourselves some slack and be okay with all the things that don’t get done.  To focus on what can be done today and leave all the worries and fears for the tomorrows yet to come.

Just take things one day at a time.


Today’s to do list says “blog”.

Today’s challenge is not coming up with ideas.  But rather the challenge is refining them to the point they make sense to you readers while not turning into a personal whine fest or diatribe.

I am not saying that raw emotion always needs to be refined before you share it.

But I do think that we all need to take care, whenever possible, to ensure that our emotional first response to life’s experiences/situations, don’t negatively impact others (or ourselves really), when some refining of those responses would better reflect the person we are working to become.


trial post

sorry for those of you who get this to your email.  I’m trying to add a “like” button without you having to clink on the another button first.

thoughts for those of who are getting older

“The world is more magical, less predictable, more autonomous, less controllable, more varied, less simple, more infinite, less knowable, more wonderfully troubling than we could have imagined being able to tolerate when we were young.” – James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life

I’ve read the quote above several times in the past week.  And each time I read it, I find myself saying “how true, how true”.  In my experience the older I get the more I realize that the world is more grey, than either black or white. That often there are no answers or explanations.  That people are seldom all good or all bad.  I see more mystery, magic and miracles all around me.  This is learning and understanding my 20 year old self could have never grasped, even if I tried to tell her.